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Writing the Blues Away, Feb, 15 2024

My Dear friend,

Do I feel sad? No. But I did a second ago. Until I decided to write in my blog. I knew that I would feel better if I did. So I am. But I can feel the blues floating around me. Entering and vanishing like a ghostly spirit in my room. I wanted to share the things causing me to feel this way. Why? Maybe it will help you, in case you ever experience the same things.

Today is valentines day. My mother is my valentine this year. We live together with my dad. I left for a few years, now I'm back. I left for college and spent 6 months in Czechia. I was able to afford both because of the support from my dad. My mom and dad have taken care of me and I love them. My first goal in life is to take care of them. I know they love each other too.

Today my dad and I worked together with one of my best friends. We've been friends since we were 8. The job was to put up a for sale sign. My friend was selling over 3 acres of land.

We did it pretty quickly and went to lunch. We opted for sushi. I ordered "all you can eat." After I took a nap while watching some TV.

I woke up and my dad came in the room with alcohol on his breath. I went upstairs to my mom's room and laid with her and the dog's for a while. My dad came in with a drink and we all talked for a while. The conversation ended with my mom saying she was annoyed with his alcohol consumption. He replied and said he had been good to her and all he gets is flack. I left the room after he did, ate an edible and took shower.

I went back downstairs planning on rolling out and stretching, but decided to make chips and salsa and go back to bed. I lacked the energy to do anything active. I scrolled on my phone for a while and started to feel the blues.

I decided to write, now here we are.

I love to write. It helps me organize my thoughts and articulate what I truly feel. Sometimes I don't know how I feel until I write it down.

The blues were caused by a feeling that I could be doing more.

I failed to influence my surroundings to the best of my ability.

I should have set a meaningful intention for the day.

I could have made a better effort to unite my family for the holiday.

I made poor choices with nutrition after criticizing my mom's diet.

I am experiencing substance induced laziness.

I am feeling pressure to make every moment count but continue to fail.

The best way to describe the blues is everything becomes annoying. Nothing has the substance it once did. Things are colorless, flavorless, and undesirable. Jokes aren't funny. Entertainment isn't entertaining. Life looses it's beauty and mystery, and becomes a meaningless program.

I imagine some folks have had the blues their whole lives. One day, something happens and from that moment on, everything is blue.

My favorite color is blue. I get the blues because how good life is. I compare the quality of my life to others and get the blues. I get the blues because occasionally it feels nice.

I much prefer to look at the world with awe than disappointment. But sometimes things are disappointing, and we should be disappointed. Sometimes we fall and it feels good to lay down for a while before getting up.

I had a fortune cookie that said "Be willing to admit your mistakes"

I'm going to lay down for a while.

Thanks for reading.

God bless you.


Luke Raley

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